Blades slow to a stop
Happy endings spin round in my head
Slow methodical music dances
its rhythm through to my soul
The cold air of today downplays the
static summer heat outside,
begging to crawl through my window
I lay lifeless, hopeless
desperately seeking to dream it all away
My instinct is right
yet everyone downplays the accuracy so much
that I learn self-doubt
never trusting
my instinctuality in any situations
ignoring all my foresight
only in my hindsight to discover
my acute senses never betray
now making up instinct
creating mass confusion and panic
never trusting anything I feel.
In a continual state of search
for inner truth
That clarity I once had before
aching, longing to no longer ignore
all that has not created doubt
and discard those that have
Longing for their approval
tortured with never ending need
for their love
Conforming to their ideas
to calm the desire for love overshadowing
the need for truth
Caught in a spiral of desperate confusion
lost in the inner turmoil of non-acceptance
